Confirmation

Well, we already knew that this pregnancy was not likely viable, but today we received confirmation. Even with the negative reports we received last week it was impossible to not hold onto a little shred of hope.  My levels only went up to 201 from 44.  If they were doubling they would have been over 500 by now. While this is not a viable pregnancy, the good news is that it doesn't look like it's ectopic either because my levels are so low.  I will go back on Monday for another blood draw to keep on eye on it. This loss is easier to process because from the beginning things didn't look good whereas all of our other pregnancies were going great, until they weren't.  We didn't have as much hope this time and for a much shorter period of time. Having said that my heart still hurts.  I'm still struggling to understand the big WHY?  For someone who loves children and has dedicated my life to them...this all just seems so cruel.  We haven't entirely given up on the idea that we may have a biological child one day, but for now we will turn our focus to adoption.  I would love if we could have both biological and adopted children...this is my prayer.  I will post more on the details of the adoption process later, but I wanted to update those who are praying for us on our latest results.  Thank you to all of you for lifting us up in prayer these last two weeks.  We feel the love and support!!!